This is way out of the line. Everyday is oT. Goodness!!! I hardly have any rest. Stress sak.

21st november will be the day. I hope that day can create a bond back wif my baby boy. I love him so much. THe other day he cooked for me sweet & sour grouper & sotong. SHiok seh...!! Thanks love. I came back home from a long day shift.. and food is all ready !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love him loads

Today i had a very tiring time at work. Hubby involved in APEC duty. SO very bz.... K la will update soon.. esp abt 21 Nov... an early celebration for my 25th birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, i was really not in the mood at all. I dunno why.. but here's the list of things that im kinda pissed.

1. 
   
   i cant change my off day to thursday. I wanna go on OFF on thursday bcuz its his 1st off day. My off day is his nite shift. sucks


2. 
   
   OT almost everyday which is soooooooooooooooo tiring..................


3. 
   
   me & hubby cant have time together... i have some family members who cant understand tt wee need time together


4. 
   
   hubby seems like not care abt me.

I may smile but in my heart, im crying out loud. I dun have understanding family. Excluding my brother. No one seem to try understand me. I need time to be wif hubby and i need time to distress. Im tired, really tired. Im stress, really stress. But does anyone fucking care?? NO!!!

Problems i have...

1. 
   
   financial problem is never ending


2. 
   
   loans here and there


3. 
   
   time for family


4. 
   
   my hubby's love towards me

I dun wanna be crazy and i dun wanna be depressed. What should i do??? What should i do so i can have a PEACE of mind. COming to my parents place, brings me hell. Coming to my in law's place, brings me nothing. Frens, they have their own commitments. I only have hubby. But he only wanna stay home. sleep, but nver want to spend time wif me, cudddle me, hug me show me love and all... y?

There are some things he said that makes me demoralised

1. 
   
   he said im ugly.


2. 
   
   he said i stinks


3. 
   
   he said im stupid


4. 
   
   all negative sayings........................

Im really affected. So i dun have any positive points is it????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

What can i do now?? I'm so sad.

I need a break. A holiday. Dear..plz bring me to somewhere... our honeymoon. Its been 5yrs.. we had not gone for any honeymoon... In january plz...

Or at least, in singapore, bring me for a party, a date or a hangout plz................ I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

YOU ARE NEAR BUT YET SO FAR.

Today hubby is on morning shift, so decided to bring the gerls out. Planned wif radiyah and we decided to just bring them to amk for chilling session & to the library. Went out at ard 1.15pm.. and baba fetched me at 6pm...

We had lunch at macdonalds, and then sat outside banquet for a chit chat session while the gerls have a play. Met hubby for a while at banquet while he was on duty... TAu dia pn nak check out on us... lol

Then headed to the library and the gerls.. mintak ampon la eh.. punye la nakal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haiz tomorrow is a working day.. sucks.. nxt whole week primary school students tk skola which means disaster at work!!!!!!!!!!! singaporeans... typical... haiya...

Im so full now, though i just ate a little... but ... i dunno what to eat for dinner seh!!!

hmmm...

Yesterday i was kinda of happy cuz hubby is in good mood. I got fed up when hubby needs to work on my off day which is initially is his 2nd off day. Hope tomorrow i can change my off day to tuesday so we can have same offs together though 1st half of the day is to see him sleeping. :(

K la gtg for now... Oh ya.. never see the anjing anymore... good2....

But im still feeling guilty for Sabrina... yah... i know im unfair... :( 9 years have passed..............

Hey guys.. Im sorry for not updating too often. Well i still havent got my PC fixed seh!!!. Haiya. Hari raya was spent well, lots of homiez visited and kids are happy as well.

Work is too STRESSFUL in terms of workload is rising and rising, ends up im on MC for 2 days inclusive of today and tomorrow.

Yesterday went jalan raya wif my dearest sis diyah, her kid shadiyah, me and the 2 rascals & jamz wif her princess. Went 2 homes its was fun. yes very2 fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today im at mama's place for a while, then will head home and meet my dearest policeman. LOLz

Well, there's ups and downs in my life so far.. Some good memories to be remembered and some bad memories to be shed. I had a dream last nite .. a weird dream.. but i dun wish to elaborate it here.

Ok another issue is regards to my WOMB. I had been having strong pulling pain on my cervix or womb i dunno?? AND end up im always in pain and unmovable. Im scared. Just now went clinic, but i didnt voice out abt it.. Haiz wasted seh. Im scared la... Or mayb my womb is not in tact at the correct position???

Still waiting for menses to come.... :)

Today wanna shop a while. Pay in.. no more worries of delays and cheats. Im happy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Till then will update soon ya!!!!!!!!!

Hari raya is like gonna be over soon. Its already near to 2 weeks but i still got more homes to go. This sat, despite working and hubby will be on nite shift, my parents want me and kids to follow them go jln raya.. open houses to go. Penat seh....

At first i do not want to celebrate hari raya that much cuz of financial constraint, but alhamdulilah, first 3 days of hari raya, we have new clothes, though 2nd day was the 2007 one, but we wore all as a family same2 together. And last sat we wore our 2008 raya clothes, still grand and brand new, and im so happy for that.

Not forgetting, today im on childcare leave, and tomorrow as well cuz its my lil princess' nadya's 4th birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! Da besar anak aku seh, and of cuz Mr Jai, she's ur 1st child.. arent u proud??? hmm.... Today gonna have a mini celebration for her birthday.

Im still using my sis lappie la.. so not much photo is in her file.. and i become more and more lazy to upload.. Anything more c my facebook k!!!!

3 more months, and its 2010. A brand new year, where new achievements need to be attained. Savings, car and new home. Thats the main concern. :)

I love you hubby, i hope u love me too. I do have strange and uneasy feeling about you but i try to ignore those feelings, mayb im too attached to you.. i dunno. My dear radiyah will keep scolding me for thinking bad abt hubby... :) K2 i gotta change and think positive.

My lil dini is getting much2 cuter.. and cleverer. And of cuz naughtier... And terserlah kepenatan ku....

Ok la.. updates soon, insya allah k.. if i got the time. :)

Catch me up at FB>.... jaja_n_jai@hotmail.com

love... MRS JAI

Its so damn tiring nowadays. Workload is piling up and at home wif the housework i need to catch up on.

Today hubby is on morning shift.. and im on half day saturday. Im not at mama's place waiting for time to go to amk and buka at aunt's place while waiting for baby to knock off from work. Errands ive settled halfway and today i need to buy for the gals kasot raya.

Im really2 tired seh. I want another baby but if it really happens, i tink im gonna b as thin as a....? mayb juz safe sex every few days....lolz...

raya is coming and baby got leave approved on 2nd day raya. which means monday i must go shop fo rhis clothes. Planned to go arnold's city plaza this monday. We had rented honda fit for monday. :)

tomorrow is his nite shift. hell man!!! i gtta take care of the \kids alone in the day while he snores....

kocek pn koyak ni bulan kan... kueh.. langsir all havent buy seh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

ok la updates real soon. ade byk pic. tgk je la FB aku k!!! aku mls la nk upload.

to those who havent add me.... jaja_n_jai@Hotmail.com .............. find me @ fb...

I guess this blog page is getting much more boring. Reason due, its hard for me to update as im using my sis's lappie, and i can use it only for a short while. After iftar, ard 8.30pm latest, i have to rush home to get ready for another day.

I tink i feel triple tired, restless. All i can do when i reach home is to sleep. Even when babylove is around, i still sleep. Cant have much time to spend together. Both of us are bz with work and esp now hubby is on morning and nite shift & sometimes his dbl off days fall on my working day, it happens MOST of the time seh. SO irritating.

Cant believe it tat i havent finish preparing for raya. 1 more week to pay day and then i can start buying all stuffs. Mendak jgk seh tkde advanced pay. :(

Im everyday at mama's place, eat wateva they cook. Sometimes i get sick and tired of it. I work sooooo hard, but the money i get in return, its always not enuf. The short of money problem is always the big issue for me to think and results in migraine.

Raya ni tk jadi sewa kereta, just wanna pinjam kak jamz car, as she agreed for a day. Nk kuar byk2 pn .. byk pakai duit and energy. G mane2 yg penting je la...

Tgk la kejap lagi da nk alek. Babylove on morning shift today. SO tak tau kul bp dia balik today. Bosan ar... Wat to do... Wifey of a police officer is NEVER easy. A lot of sacrifices needed.

One news tat makes me sad, hubby doesnt want another child. He say stop at 2. So no chance for me to get a son... angan2 je la waty................

Tomorrow, i'll be iftar-ing alone. Hubby nite shift ar. Mendak sak. Mendak skali.

****Baby, wateva it is, i will stay patient, and i will stay strong to move on. Just for you syg and our lil ones.. The reason... i love you b. I miss spending time wif you syg... Hope we can find some day that we can have sweet sweet loving*******

This ramadhan is a blessing mth though tiring.. Nothng much happened. Just preparing for raya which im not looking forward to.. reason being hubby is working on that day.

The theme is black and purple.but i havent decide for me and him.

Sorry guys i did not update that much cuz i got not time and no mood.

Anyway to all.. happy ramadhan.

NI SI MANJA NGA TDO LEPAS SAHUR

Today marks 2nd ramadhan, and its my 1st day fasting. Im trying to learn to fast sincerely. Alhamdulilah, i feel strong today. Hopes it goes on the same throughout. Hubby on morning shift today so tts y i can blog freely at mama's place. Im not looking forward to celebrating syawal this yr... cuz hubby will be on morning shift tis 1st syawal, and finiancial crisis la....

Hmm.. spend the day wif lil dini, and managed to take some shots.

K2 i've uploaded at last.. more at FB. hahahahaha....

Sit back, enjoy and relax!!!